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A Consuming Fire Virtual Preorder Campaign

I’m very, very excited to be announcing details regarding a virtual preorder campaign I’ll be running in the lead up to the release of my fourth novel, A CONSUMING FIRE. ACF is the story of a deeply wounded girl setting off on a journey which will require her to dismantle the entirety of the belief system she’s been raised within, and to go head-to-head with a monster she’s always believed to be a god. You can read more about it here–I’m immensely proud of A CONSUMING FIRE, which is, at this point, my favorite of my YA offerings to date!

So! Preorder campaign stuff!

As always, I am not requiring proof of purchase for this campaign because I trust my readers. It’s open internationally, as it’s going to be virtual. You can preorder A CONSUMING FIRE from any venue to qualify for the campaign reward(s) but my preferred option is always either ordering from your local indie, or from Scrawl Books, where you can request copies that come with a lovely signed and personalized bookplate, should you desire one (I’m biased, but a signed and personalized copy of ACF would make the PERFECT Christmas gift for yourself and for any bookworms in your life!)

When thinking about promo for ACF, I wanted to come up with a preorder campaign option that didn’t mean I had to order a ton of expensive swag and sit stuffing mailers for twelve hours. I also wanted something that would be meaningful to readers who’ve experienced one or more of my previous books–generally preorder involvement comes from dear friends and readers who’ve been following my literary journey for awhile, and aren’t brand new to the odd little worlds that live in my head. And as I was working on preorder ideas, I was also forging through edits on 2023’s YA title, THE VOICE UPSTAIRS, which is dual-POV. That, and the advice of a very good friend, Hannah Whitten (whose work you should absolutely read, pick up your copies of FOR THE WOLF and FOR THE THRONE as soon as possible!) gave me the idea for the preorder incentives I’m offering this time around.

For each reader who preorders a copy of A CONSUMING FIRE, I will have brand new scenes for *each* of my published books available, that happen either during the events of the story, or not long afterwards. They’ll be told from a brand new point of view, as well–in my head, I’m thinking of this as a “This One’s for the Boys” campaign. You will be able to choose from…

The Light Between Worlds: Tom’s POV–Tom and Evelyn meet on the train platform
A Treason of Thorns: Wyn’s POV–Wyn learns to spear fish
A Rush of Wings: Gawen’s POV–Gawen brings the Winthrops to his family home
A Consuming Fire: Tieran’s POV–[redacted for spoilers]

For those of you who are the most enthusiastic about my work, there’s also an option to get the whole bundle of new scenes, rather than picking just one.

To enter the campaign, all you have to do is 1. preorder your copy of A CONSUMING FIRE, and 2. fill out this Google Form with your entry details. I’ll be sending campaign materials out in late November/early December. Can’t wait to share these new bits and bobs with you, and especially to share this year’s YA release.

Sending you love and light here at the onset of autumn,

Laura

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A Consuming Fire Cover Reveal + First Chapter

There are a lot of reasons to write a book. You can write one to fulfill a contract or reader expectations. You can write a book to entertain or move your audience. You can also write a book because of something within you–because there’s something you need to say, something you need to alchemize into words so that other people can see it and understand it, and maybe, if you’re lucky, say “I know this feeling. I have it too.”

Years ago, I wrote a book called The Light Between Worlds for that last reason, and ever since, reader responses to it have blown me away. You have all been so generous and warm-hearted in your reception of the Hapwell girls, weighted down as they are by emotional baggage and the worlds they trail along in their wake. I wrote that story because I wanted to look at my own experiences with grief and displacement and longing and depression. Not to ask questions about those experiences, or try to answer them, but just to acknowledge that they existed, and were real.

Last year, in the throes of a very dark pandemic winter, I finished another book in that sort of vein. It is, in many ways, the spiritual successor to The Light Between Worlds, though it also touches on some of the themes covered by A Rush of Wings, which I’ve referred to elsewhere as a hymn to anger. This latest book–the one I get to place on shelves and into readers’ hands this coming autumn–is called A Consuming Fire. I wrote it because I was angry. Because I needed to deconstruct and (hopefully) rebuild something I’d lived with all my life, and held extremely dear.

A Consuming Fire is, on one level, a book about what you do when a system that you were raised within (be it cultural, religious, political, etc) lets you down in the worst possible ways. When you start to undertake the process of growing up and realize, with the perspective growth grants, that you have been part of something that seemed beautiful, but that springs from a poisonous root. It is also a story about sisters. A story about love, and sacrifice, and the pursuit of justice. It is about the strength that exists in seemingly fragile and gentle and damaged people. It is about relentless compassion.

I wrote this book for myself. But I hope when you read it, it’s your own soul you see reflected in the pages.

And on that note, here is your first look at the cover and opening chapter of A Consuming Fire

Uprooted meets The Grace Year in this dark young adult fantasy of love and vengeance following a girl who vows to kill a god after her sister is unjustly slain by his hand.

Once every eighteen years, the isolated forest village of Weatherell is asked to send one girl to the god of the mountain to give a sacrifice before returning home. Twins Anya and Ilva Astraea are raised with this destiny in mind, and when their time comes, spirited Ilva volunteers to go. Her devoted sister Anya is left at home to pray for Ilva’s safe return. But Anya’s prayers are denied.

With her sister dead, Anya volunteers to make a journey of her own to visit the god of the mountain. But unlike her sister, sacrifice is the furthest thing from Anya’s mind. Anya has no intention of giving anything more to the god, or of letting any other girl do so ever again. Anya Astraea has not set out to placate a god. She’s set out to kill one.

I am extremely privileged to have had the talented Kim Ekdahl design the covers for both my latest release, A Rush of Wings, and this upcoming title. Kim has a tremendous facility for capturing details and the heart of a story, and her beautiful illustrations put me in mind of the covers of YA novels I enthusiastically read during my own teen years. I love the way she’s captured Anya and the troubled countryside of Albion, and am so excited to hold this book in my hands.

Cover art by Kim Ekdahl

You can currently add A Consuming Fire on Goodreads, or preorder via any of the retailers listed here (if you’re unable to purchase from your preferred retailer yet, try the link again tomorrow as the book has only just become available to online retailers!) Signed preorders via my favorite local independent bookseller will be an option closer to release. And of course, if you’re like me and want a glimpse at what you’re buying before placing an order, I have a first chapter just for you.

A Consuming Fire
(Content Warning: This excerpt contains the death of a central character)

CHAPTER ONE
Weatherell

************

Once upon a time, when Anya Astraea and her sister Ilva had been small, they made a habit of walking out to Weatherell’s final clearing together. The clearing marked the edge of the village’s woodland—beyond it there was only the uninhabited New Forest, with its birdsong and bluebells and wandering piebald ponies, and past that, the forbidden expanse of Albion, which had been the Roman province of Britain before the last of the centurions left. While few raised in the village of Weatherell ever saw what lay outside the wood, none born and bred in Albion ever left the great island’s shores.

In Weatherell’s final clearing, at the edge of everything Anya knew, there stood a beech tree with golden leaves. Old charms crowded its branches, hanging so heavy they might have been a strange and jangling crop of fruit. They’d been made by the people of Weatherell, from glass and chestnut hulls and old coins dug up from the forest earth, which bore the faces of long-forgotten lordlings and Caesars. But the most vital of Weatherell’s charms—the ones wrought for protection, not for beauty—were strung with bits of sun-bleached bone. Anya and Ilva would lie on their backs and look up at the spinning charms and try to guess which of the Weatherell girls each bone had come from.

Was it Gabrielle, who’d given her face to the god of the mountain, returning home indelibly marked by a mask of deep scars?

Was it Leya, who’d given her right leg at the knee, and joked until her death that at least she had another?

Was it Florien, who’d given her memory, and known not a soul when she’d come back to the village?

Was it Moriah, who’d given her thumbs and been considered lucky, because the god might certainly have required more?

On and on they’d guess, naming girls who’d gone out from Weatherell to serve as living sacrifices to the god of the mountain. It was Ilva’s game, really. She found that naming the girls was a painless way of remembering Weatherell’s history—a recollection with its teeth taken out. But it hurt for Anya even to remember people who’d lived and died before they were born. Perhaps those girls were shadows and stories and the bones in charms now, but to Anya, they still lived. She felt the weight of their sacrifice hanging over her every day.

And though most of the Weatherell girls who’d gone out into the world were dead, the god himself was still very much alive on his faraway mountain. His divine sleep could only be renewed with the sweet taste of abnegation—of a living sacrifice offered by a righteous lamb. Nothing but the willing pain of a Weatherell girl could soothe and sate the god and keep all the vast isle of Albion free from his ruthless predations.

“Someday, I’m going to go,” Ilva would whisper to Anya, spinning a story of her own as they lay side by side in the soft fallen leaves. She’d clutch her greatest treasure as she did—a strange trinket, washed ashore from Gaul to the east or Hibernia to the west, no doubt, and carried inland by some creature. Made for stringing upon a cord or chain, it was a little cross-shaped pendant wrought of crude metal, a girl with a babe in arms on one side, a suffering man on the other. Wounds were visible upon the sufferer’s hands and feet, and a twisting band of thorns stretched across his brow. Ilva loved the small relic because it was part of an unreachable world. Anya loved it on account of the sufferer—because for once, it was not the girl or the child who bore the wounds.  

“When the eighteen years of grace Mam purchased with her sacrifice have passed, and it’s time for the next of us to travel to the god again, I’ll go,” Ilva would announce to Anya and the little graven sufferer and the bones of the girls who’d gone before. “I’m the strongest and bravest—they’ll send me if I offer. If I do, then you won’t have to leave, or anyone else, and when I come back we’ll have a story to tell. You’ll take care of me afterwards if I need it, won’t you, Anya?”

“I don’t want you to go,” Anya protested staunchly every time, at which Ilva would only laugh.

Someone has to go, little moon. Better me than you.”

“I don’t want it to be either of us.”

“Who then?” Ilva would press. “Who would you send instead? Elsie? Min? Amara, perhaps?”

Every time, Anya shook her head. “None of them. I don’t want anyone to go. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right.”

“It’s the way of things,” Ilva answered with a shrug. “The way they were and are and will be. It’s not for us to change the working of the world, only to make it a safer place.”

“It isn’t fair,” Anya repeated sullenly, though she gave in to Ilva in the end. She always allowed her sister to have her way sooner or later—Anya had come into the world hard on Ilva’s heels, tiny fingers wrapped around her ankle, and had been trying to keep pace with her ever since.

Secretly, though, Anya harbored doubts as to her sister’s motives in going to the god. Ilva was a restless soul and a wandering spirit. While Anya would never say so out loud, she sometimes wondered how much Ilva’s longing to go had to do with sacrifice, and how much of it was simply a desire to leave Weatherell in the only way afforded to the village’s girls. If she were braver, Anya often thought, she’d tell Ilva no when her sister spoke of going to the god. She herself was the most dutiful, the most restrained, the nearest to righteousness of all Weatherell’s daughters. The most fit for a sacrifice. But she was afraid and unwilling, and Ilva was not. Anya felt a deep-seated sense of wrongness and revulsion at her core when she considered the journey and the offering. Ilva felt only eagerness and expectation at the prospect of leaving Weatherell, despite departure’s agonizing price.

Perhaps that was all that mattered, in the end.

The last time Anya walked out to the final clearing with Ilva, it was to say goodbye, because her sister had laid hold of the one unspeakably costly freedom available to her. At midwinter, when the Arbiter and his selectmen called for a living sacrifice to renew the god’s slumber, Ilva alone stepped forward. So there’d been no selection process, no testing of her faith or drills from the Cataclysm, the god’s inscrutable holy book. There’d just been Ilva, set apart for the offering from the moment she took that fateful step and spoke her name.

On their last morning together, Anya and Ilva stood alone under the beech tree. Their mother, Willem, had said her terse farewells back in the village, and refused to walk out to the edge of Weatherell’s bounds. Willem hadn’t wanted Ilva to go, and the two of them had fought over it for weeks. The fighting left Anya trapped between them and nearly torn in two, because while she would never naysay Ilva, in her heart of hearts, she agreed with their mother. Though she did not have the courage or conviction to take her place, nevertheless, Anya did not want her sister to go.

Ilva wore a heavy and practical canvas pack slung over her shoulders, full of the things she’d need on her journey to the mountain. She’d cut her brown curls off at the chin to make for less bother on the road. And a band of supple scarlet leather wrapped around her neck, marking her out to all of Albion as a Weatherell girl—as righteous, and a sacrifice.

Anya had sewn the scarlet band on herself, because Willem could not. The night before Ilva’s departure, she knelt behind her sister in their small, firelit cottage, fingers trembling against Ilva’s warm skin as she tried to steady herself. But all Anya’s efforts had not been enough, and the needle slipped. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision, and she heard Ilva take in a soft breath. When she blinked back the tears and could see again, a drop of blood stood out, stark red against her sister’s white skin.

“It doesn’t matter, Anya,” Ilva said. “You’re doing very well.”

Anya glanced over at Willem, who sat by the hearth, watching. Willem’s leather and iron hands lay on a table across the room, and her scarred, handless wrists rested in her lap.

“It’s a bad omen,” their mother said sternly. “Bones are for protection, but blood is for ill-luck.”

“Stop.” There was steel in Ilva’s voice as she spoke to their mother, and it left Anya breathless. Only Ilva dared stand up to Willem’s anger, that sometimes burned low and other times flared hot, but was always present. It had grown worse in the past months, though—Anya had been warned that the women who’d once gone to the god were always affected so, in a year of disfavor. Until another girl sated the god of the mountain, his baleful influence reached across Albion to touch those who’d been sacrifices before, rendering them restless and short-tempered, however hard they strove for kindness.

“I don’t believe in luck or superstition, and you know it,” Ilva said with defiance, fixing her eyes on Willem until their mother quailed. Ilva had been an unstoppable force since her acceptance as Weatherell’s sacrifice, and Anya thought that between the reflected heat of Willem’s anger and Ilva’s resolve, she might catch fire and burn away to ash.

But she’d found it in her to finish sewing on the band, and pressed a kiss like a prayer to the back of Ilva’s neck when she’d completed the task.

“Be brave, little moon,” Ilva whispered to her, so low that Willem could not hear. “I know you’ll find your courage without me.”

And then their last hours together were at an end. They stood under the beech tree one final time, the branches above them flush with the new green of spring. The twisting path out of the wood was already beneath Ilva’s feet, and the trail back to Weatherell beneath Anya’s.

“I’m glad it’s me,” Ilva said fiercely as Anya clung to her. “Not just on account of seeing the world beyond the wood. I couldn’t have lived with myself if they’d sent you. I’ve always known that—always known it would have killed me to watch you go.”

“Hurry on the road,” Anya begged, tendrils of guilt unfurling in the pit of her stomach. “Hurry away, and hurry home. I’ll be lost until you’re back, Ilva, truly I will.”

Ilva held her sister at arm’s length. Her eyes were dry and glittering with suppressed anticipation, while Anya’s were dim with tears. In addition to the scarlet band, Ilva wore a long braided cord around her neck, and Anya knew without seeing that the otherworldly pendant must hang from the end of it, the mother and child and sufferer tucked away against Ilva’s pale skin.

“Will you keep your promise, and look after me once I’ve come back from my adventure?” Ilva asked. “Will you care for me as well as you’ve done for the rest of the ones who went—for our mother and Sylvie and Philomena?”

“I will look after you until the day you die,” Anya swore. “And when that day comes, when we’re old and full of stories, I’ll break up your bones with my own two hands, to be turned into Weatherell’s charms. No one else will touch you.”

Ilva smiled. “You’re very sure of that. But I’m only a minute older than you—who’s to say I’ll go first?”

Anya wanted to be brave and light-hearted like Ilva; to find levity in the face of death and disaster. But when she opened her mouth to return the joke, her humor withered and died. She could only manage to stare at Ilva, and shake her head in dismay.

“Be brave,” Ilva told her again, and with a last swift embrace, turned her back on Weatherell and her face towards all of Albion, which lay beyond the wood.

Anya watched her sister set her shoulders and take the first steps of a journey dozens of girls had undergone before. She stood and looked after Ilva until the trees swallowed her up. And in the moment Ilva disappeared, Anya knew that though she herself had not set out to go to the god of the mountain he’d nevertheless reached inside her, rendering her somehow broken instead of whole.

*************

Once upon a time, Anya Astraea stood under the golden beech tree in Weatherell’s final clearing and watched her sister Ilva go to the god of the mountain. Now every afternoon, she stood under it alone and waited for her return.

As spring wore on to summer, she hurried through her morning’s work each day. Through brushing her mother Willem’s hair and washing her gently with a soft cloth; through buckling on Willem’s useless leather and iron hands and murmuring rote prayers to the god of the mountain together. The prayers were more a lullaby than anything else—a way of placating the god through soothing words, and staving off his appetite for pain and self-denial.

Then Anya would hurry to fetch their skittish black-nosed sheep from the sheepyard at the village’s center, beneath the overarching boughs of unfathomably ancient trees. And when she brought their ewes to the Weatherell boys who followed the flocks, she’d bring Philomena and Sylvie’s few lambs as well.

Along with Willem, Philomena and Sylvie were Weatherell’s three still-living ones who went, who’d gone to the mountain as girls and given of themselves to the god. They served the village as a reminder, and as an ongoing sacrifice—it was said in Weatherell and beyond the wood that the lives of the ones who went served as the purest of prayers. That they were bound to the god, and their connection to him continued to ensure peace for Weatherell, even after their offering had been made. It was why Willem had never been allowed a more functional substitute for the hands she’d given—Arbiter Thorn declared that equipping her with such a thing would be to flout the will of the god.

This spring, however, Philomena was surely doing the lion’s share of the peacemaking. She was often unwell, but had been worse than ever since the year of disfavor began. Long ago, the god asked for her ability to bear children, which she’d given to him, and she’d suffered from internal complaints ever since. It seemed to intensify her pain, that fathomless miles away, the god she’d once knelt before was restless and waking.

When Anya ducked into Philomena and Sylvie’s cottage after tending their sheep, she found the interior dim and cool—no fire on the hearth, not even a candle burning. Sylvie sat hunched in the shadows in a far corner of the cottage’s single room, swathed in blankets to ward off the chill. The oldest of the ones who went, her wrinkled face sagged and drooped against the place where her eyes had been, though she turned her head towards Anya at the sound of the girl’s voice. Even in the gloom, Anya could make out the black latticework of unreadable script that had been inked into Sylvie’s skin, spreading across her neck. Anya knew that most of it ran in orderly rows along her back, though Sylvie refused to speak of it, except to say that the markings had been done to her beyond the wood, and against her will.

“What about a fire?” Anya asked Sylvie briskly, and set about making one. As she knelt before the hearth, she could hear Philomena behind her, struggling to get out of bed. But Anya did not turn, or offer to help. If there was anything the ones who went all had in common, besides their journey to the mountain, it was a fierce sense of pride and a determination to remain independent whenever possible.

Slowly, the sound of Philomena’s footsteps drew closer. Anya glanced up and smiled as the older woman reached the hearth, dropping into a wicker rocking chair with a trembling sigh.

More so than Willem, Philomena was a mother to Anya. Threads of silver twined through her chestnut hair, and the crow’s feet around her eyes deepened with each passing year, but Philly was a gentle and hospitable soul. It was to her Anya went when she needed to confess troubles, or talk over fears. It was Philly who’d held Anya close and let her sob after Ilva left, keeping the girl together when she’d thought her heart would surely break. Even the year of disfavor seemed unable to temper Philly’s kindness, though it brought her bodily pain.

“Good morning, Anya,” Philomena said, though there was a tense, tormented note behind the words. “Do you know what day it is today?”

Anya nodded, turning back to her work at the hearth. She felt Philly reach out a hand, and settle it briefly atop her head like a blessing.

“Two months since Ilva left,” Anya answered. “Today I can start watching for her return.”

Two months was the quickest any Weatherell girl had made the journey to the mountain and back. They crossed nearly all of Albion and its disparate patchwork of feuding fiefdoms and provinces, all ruled over by petty lords grasping at power. But the island’s true overseers were the Elect, who tended souls in the world beyond the wood, and guarded the well-traveled and safe high roads from the New Forest through the countryside beyond. Under the Elect’s careful watch, Weatherell girls went north, keeping well away from the forbidden metropolis of Old Londinium, and fording the River Thames at a place called Godstow. Then there was mile after mile of plains and hills and moors that led to Banevale, the city at the foot of the mountain called Bane Nevis, where the god of the mountain dwelt in power.

Frida held the record for the fastest journey north. Ten girls ago she’d gone out to the god and returned with her mouth a gaping hole—lips and teeth and tongue torn clear away. But she’d been the fastest, in spite of her injuries.

Secretly, Anya had hoped Ilva would beat Frida’s record.

Hurry on the road, she’d said, after all. Hurry away, and hurry home.

When Philomena spoke again, warmth and good humor eclipsed the pain in her voice. “You say you can start watching for Ilva today as if you haven’t done so since the moment she left. All of Weatherell knows you’ve been looking out for her, Anya. It will be awhile yet, I’m sure—the burden of the god’s unease still lies heavy on your mother and Sylvie and me. But I don’t think any girl has ever been as fortunate in her family as Ilva, or left behind someone so eager for her return.”

Anya flushed. She’d never thought of herself and Ilva as fortunate in their family. Neither of them knew who their father was—Willem had called them Astraea, after him, but would never say more than that she’d met him beyond the wood. And Willem herself was not a warm or devoted mother in any sense. She’d been furious when Ilva put her name forward to go, and refused to speak of her since her departure. Every night Anya wept over her sister in careful silence, because when Willem overheard her tears, she said sharp and cutting things that haunted Anya for days.

If you’d had her courage, you’d be walking now instead of crying.

I’d rather it had been you. You count costs in ways she never does.

It was no use Anya trying to reassure herself that Willem’s temper was the result of the god’s restlessness either—her mother had always been harsh. The year of disfavor only honed an edge that had already been there. It coupled with a gnawing guilt over Ilva’s going that Anya had felt since her sister’s departure, and left her in constant misery, though she tried to hide it.

In truth, was not only eagerness over Ilva’s return that took Anya out to the final clearing each day, though she’d plenty of that. There was also the need to see Ilva first: to look her over, and learn what she’d given to the god, and grapple with the low, relentless regret Anya now carried. She knew it would not abate until Ilva was safe beside her again, an offering triumphant, who had purchased grace and peace for all of Albion and had an adventure besides.

After starting Philomena and Sylvie’s fire and fixing them a late breakfast, Anya took to the woods. She slipped out of Weatherell’s village proper without a backward glance, because she knew every inch of what lay behind her. How each cottage had been built up against the trunk of a tall, spreading tree. How every door had been painted with a protective rune, to ward off ill-luck. How the branches overhead glittered with charms, which stirred when the breeze picked up and filled the village with intermittent hollow sounds.

Weatherell was everything Anya knew. She’d never left the village, and never would. There she’d been born, and there she’d die. The Elect, which Weatherell’s Arbiter and selectmen were part of, said it must be so. How else could a girl be born every eighteen years to serve as a sacrifice and a spotless lamb, free of the pride and failings that ran rampant in the country beyond Weatherell’s bounds?

But such things were not for Anya to worry on. Holiness and boundaries were the province of the Arbiter and the Elect. Sacrifice—the making of it and the surviving of it, the raising of daughters who might be fit for it—was the province of girls like Anya Astraea and her sister Ilva, who had gone to the god.

Though perhaps elsewhere things were different, Anya sometimes thought blasphemously. Perhaps elsewhere, sacrifice belonged to the sufferer with his band of thorns, and the girl and her child were left intact. Perhaps there might one day be a world in which she did not constantly catch glimpses of bones overheard, and feel a sudden stab of regret, and of an indefinable wrongness.

The path to the final clearing looked entirely different now than it had when Ilva left. When she’d gone out to Albion, the woods had only hinted at summer to come. Now everything was green and lush and full of life, smelling of rich earth and growing things.

Anya ghosted down the trail, running her hands along the velvety tops of wildflowers and hardly having to look to find her way. Two months to the day since Ilva had set out from home. Longing and fear and guilt pooled at Anya’s core. How much more time would pass before her sister’s return? And how had she fared on the mountain? How would the pieces of their new life fall into place?

When she stepped into the final clearing, wind was combing through the branches of the beech tree, setting its charms to chiming. The long grass stood sweet and green, dotted with white flowers, and overhead stretched an expanse of blue sky ringed by tree branches. It was as much of the sky as Anya had ever seen, and today soft clouds and a few distant birds scudded across it. Anya took a breath of good clean air and thought to herself that the worst must surely have passed. She’d survived two months of Ilva’s absence. Two months alone with Willem, and her sharp, inexorable tongue. Two months of feeling like half instead of whole. It could not be long now before Ilva completed her work and returned to Weatherell to take her place among the ones who went.

And when Anya drew closer to the beech tree, her heart leaped painfully in her chest. Though Philomena had said it could not be so, Ilva sat among the roots of the tree, leaning against its trunk.

As Anya ran to her, Ilva’s face lit with a fleeting smile. Then Anya’s arms were around her sister and she was sobbing, all the tears Willem had scorned pouring out of her in a flood. Ilva was everything she’d hoped for, everything she’d longed to have back, everything she’d ever wanted to be.

“I hurried,” Ilva whispered. But she did not put her arms around Anya in return.

As the force of Anya’s relief calmed, she rocked back on her heels.

“I hurried,” Ilva said again, her voice a quiet rasp. As she spoke, Anya saw for the first time that her sister’s skin was flushed, with fever and a pair of angry scars that crept up from under the collar of her woolen shirt. Ilva’s breath came shallow and fast, and her eyes were dim and unfocused. Her hands, resting on her lap, would not stop shaking.

Anya fumbled with the neck of Ilva’s shirt, loosening its drawstrings until she could see her sister’s chest and the place where the god had touched her. Her breath caught at the sight of a vicious red handprint, inhumanly large, burned into the skin over Ilva’s heart. There was no sign of the sufferer’s pendant, though the scarlet band that marked a Weatherell girl still wrapped around Ilva’s neck.

“What is it? What’s wrong? What did you give?” Anya asked, the words coming out in a panicked jumble. “Ilva. Ilva. Show me what’s the matter. Show me so I can fix it.”

For a moment, Ilva’s eyes rolled back and fear cut deep at Anya’s core. But her sister rallied, catching her breath with a pained hitch and fixing her gaze on Anya with an effort.

“Everything hurts,” she breathed.

What did you give?” Anya asked again.

Ilva swallowed and winced, as if even that small action pained her. “Nothing. I gave him nothing, in the end. He told me there was no sacrifice he’d accept. When I said I would give him whatever he asked for, he reached out a hand. And oh, Anya. He is so terrible. It’s a struggle even to stand before him.”

For a long moment, Ilva fell silent, her breath coming hard and fast as the feverish color drained from her face, leaving her grey and drawn instead.

“He reached out,” she whispered, “and placed his hand on my heart. And when he spoke, all his anger and his fire and his bitterness went into me. I can feel them in me yet, eating up my insides, and everything good and alive went out of me and into him, too. He touched me, and I knew it was the beginning of the end.”

Tears pooled in Ilva’s eyes, and her voice was barely audible, even above the scant breeze stirring the grasses. “Just when I thought I would die, he turned away. But I gave him nothing, Anya. Do you understand? I gave him nothing, because he took from me instead.”

Ilva’s hands in Anya’s were no longer trembling like delicate leaves. Now they shook like the earth beneath Weatherell that occasionally rumbled and shifted. As Anya watched in horror, the shaking spread. All of Ilva shivered and jerked, as if caught out in the bitterest cold.

Anya drew her own hands away and sat helplessly by, with one fist pressed to her mouth and the other to her middle as some unseen, insidious force wracked her sister.

At last, the shaking stopped and Ilva was still.

“Ilva?” Anya asked.

No answer. Froth stained one side of Ilva’s face, her head had tipped back as she shook, and her lips parted a little. Anya had seen many a dead thing in the woods around Weatherell, and her sister had the aching, unnatural look of something life had left behind.

“Ilva?” Anya’s voice broke on the word.

With the shallowest gasp, Ilva’s chest rose and fell again.

“Don’t go.” The warning came out ragged, cobbled together from caught breath and splintered bones and the last dying embers of Ilva’s once indomitable will. “Whatever happens, don’t go.”

“I’m right here,” Anya sobbed.

“No. That’s not…don’t go. Don’t let anyone else go. Promise me.”

Anya took Ilva’s hands in her own again. “I promise.”

“Be brave, little moon,” Ilva said, her eyes fixing on Anya’s one last time. “Will you…”

Her voice trailed off, and Anya waited.

But Ilva was still.

She did not move.
She did not blink.
She did not breathe.

After a few moments, Anya Astraea, who had sent her sister out to be a living sacrifice, curled up on her side with her head on Ilva’s lap. Everything inside her had gone still, too—still as stone, or as the frozen forest earth at midwinter.

Anya lay motionless until the sun went down. Then Philomena got up from her place by the hearth and led the people of Weatherell to the village’s final clearing. They found Anya there, lying beside the cold, stiff body of their failed offering. Anya would not rise, and had to be carried back to the village, for when Ilva left her again—this time irrevocably—her scant courage had utterly failed, swallowed up by a sea of guilt.

She dared not move.
She dared not blink.
She dared not breathe.

************

Can’t wait for A Consuming Fire? I’ve got other stories to tide you over. If you’re in the mood for a dark, atmospheric fairytale retelling, try A Rush of Wings, my Scottish Highlands-set reimagining of The Wild Swans. If you want a lush, romantic gothic fantasy, pick up A Treason of Thorns, in which the daughter of a disgraced nobleman must save her family legacy–a sentient, magical house–from the king who holds it in bondage. Or if a meditative, bittersweet reflection on the portal fantasy genre is more your style, consider The Light Between Worlds, in which two sisters struggle to readjust to life in our world after spending years adventuring in another.

Life, the Universe, and Everything, Publishing Miscellanea, Writing Craft

On Writing Irreligious Books

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of my minor hobbies is ferreting out corners of the internet dedicated to people who want to think about the intersections between Christianity and art, and about how both the consumption and creation of good art are immeasurably beneficial to faith practice. Finding new iterations of this crossroad is always lovely and a little disorienting. Lovely, because these are things I dwell on a lot, and it’s nice to find other people doing the same. Disorienting, because there is a definite tendency in groups like this to focus on a very specific sort of creative as a model for the Good Christian Artist.

By which I mean, the sort of creative who makes explicitly Christian art.

Don’t get me wrong. I love some explicitly Christian art, by which I mean art that proclaims itself to be about Christianity, rather than discussing faith more obliquely (if at all). I have consumed many an inspirational romance in my time, and grew up haunting the church library (but I also haunted the public library and my school library–I am an equal opportunity library haunter). I was raised on CCM (contemporary Christian music, for those who aren’t In The Know) and spent countless hours on the school bus playing Steven Curtis Chapman and Jaci Velasquez on my CD walkman. The Christian Fantasist’s Holy Trinity (CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien, and Madeleine L’Engle) are the bedrock of my existence as a speculative fiction author–though one could make a case that their fiction work is only rendered explicitly Christian in light of their nonfiction writings.

But I also love a lot of art that very definitely does not fit the explicitly Christian framework. My current favorite fantasy series, The Lumatere Chronicles, couldn’t be considered allegorical, even if you squint. Virginia Woolf’s work helped me get through my teens and did more to impact my own literary voice than anything else. When it comes to television, I’m still off-base, as my favorite comfort watch is Star Trek in its many forms. No one would call music by Noah Gundersen or Ingrid Michaelson or Sleeping At Last explicitly Christian, either. And yet I find so much of goodness and truth in all of these things, despite the fact that they contain no stand-in figure for an omnipotent deity. No hands raised in the name of Jesus.

And then there’s me. A person who, as aforementioned, thinks a lot about the interplay of faith and art, and who makes art for a living, but who doesn’t do it in the manner of Good Christian Artists. I don’t write for a primarily Christian audience, or work for a religious imprint–I publish for the secular market. My books aren’t allegories–they don’t even mention any sort of higher power, much of the time. At the end of the day, though, there is this: I am a Christian, making art to the best of my ability. Does the way in which I choose to do so and the audience I choose to render my work accessible to preclude me from being a Good Christian Artist?

I hope not. I’ve never been much good at preaching to the choir. Or preaching to anyone, for that matter.

The conclusion I’ve come to is this: that as a Christian, you can create religious or irreligious art, but both can be done in faith. Religious art is the explicitly Christian kind–the sort that says “Yes, there is an answer to your questions, and this is it.” It’s instructional by nature–a signpost in the wilderness, a map that points to the road out, and tells you what you’ll find at the journey’s end.

Irreligious art, created in faith, doesn’t offer answers so clearly. Irreligious art is about comfort on the road. It’s not a signpost or a framework, but a friend along the way. A companion who says “I know you’re lost, but I think you ought to keep going. I believe there’s something beyond this, and that you haven’t yet fully become what you’re becoming. I trust you’ll get there in the end, though, and I’d like to walk beside you for awhile.” It is, in the literal sense, an act of encouragement. If a piece of irreligious art is truly Christian, the one who’s taken it in should feel a little stronger, a little more hopeful, a little more fit for the journey. They may not have been told what they’re looking for, or why, or how to find it, but they’ll know that the search itself and the act of struggling for transcendence are profoundly meaningful.

I’m not much of a mapmaker, myself. I still feel pretty lost most days, even if I’ve glimpsed the journey’s end. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll get there, and sometimes my faith in the outcome turns to doubt. But I’m a good walker. I can put one foot in front of the other and just keep going, in spite of doubt or darkness or moments of despair. So that’s what I bring to the table, as a Christian who makes art. Not a signpost, but a piece of my own stubborn soul. A companion for the journey–a fellow walker who may not be sure of the road, but who’s headed further up and further in, and wants to pass some time side by side.

Craft Advice, Life, the Universe, and Everything, Publishing Miscellanea, Writing Craft

Four Tips to Break a Reading Slump

A standard piece of publishing industry advice is that you need to read voraciously in any genres you plan to work in, or already do work in. If I had a dollar for each time I’ve heard this, I wouldn’t be precisely rich, but I’d certainly have enough ready cash to take my family out for a very nice dinner.

This is a maxim that used to make me feel like a failure as both a reader and a writer.

Why? Because for the past eight years, I’ve been in the mother of all reading slumps. It started not when I had kids, but at the time that I started juggling working as an author with having kids. Parenting is a singularly all-consuming endeavor. Writing for publication, likewise. And they both involve a LOT of reading. Reading Goodnight Moon fourteen times in a row (or in our family’s case, an infamous storybook called DW’s Guide to Preschool). Reading your own novels fourteen times in a row, your sense of enthusiasm for them withering into disdain with each successive pass (I always say that the best part of publishing a book is knowing I never have to read it again).

Like I said. Both parenting and publishing require a lot of reading, but not the sort that exactly sparks joy. More the kind that progressively saps your will to live. So for eight years now, I’ve been in a reading slump so vicious that I was lucky to read four or five books in a year, outside of those roles. Mostly I stuck to magazines with glossy pictures of immaculately-maintained English countryside gardens. That was, for a very long time, the only form of print that didn’t make my brain feel like imploding.

And throughout it all, I felt really bad about the fact that I didn’t read more. I wasn’t current on the big, highly-praised break out titles in my category and genre. I wasn’t even current on books my own author friends wrote. At the end of the day, if I had an hour or two to spare, the last thing in the world I wanted was to pick up another book. I gamed instead, or watched Star Trek, or juicy costume dramas.

I’m here to tell you that if this is where you’re at, there is nothing wrong with you. And you don’t need to feel pressured to undertake an activity that feels so off-putting you’d rather sit and stare at a wall. Sometimes, we’re just not in a reading season of life, even as self-proclaimed bookworms. Sometimes, we’re in a season of life where we have to read so much for reasons beyond our own pleasure that choosing books for fun is out of the question. None of the fun is left. It has all been sucked out of the pages.

But it will come back. And there are some gentle ways you can implement to hasten its return. I know, because this year, I set out to break my reading slump. To a degree, I managed. Here are the steps I undertook to do so.

Log Every Book

If you read to your kids, or for professional development, or in some sort of work capacity, log it. Those are valid reads. They don’t suddenly fail to count because you undertook them for a reason outside of personal pleasure. This year, I hit that magical place where my kids are older enough to follow more complex chapter books, and was able to introduce them to a lot of stories I absolutely adored as a kid. Was I technically reading them for myself? No. But I read them, and I logged every last one. My favorite resource for this is Storygraph, though your logging system can be as simple as a pen and post-it note.

Visit Uncharted Territory

If you are required for any reason to read in a particular category or genre, do not, and I repeat, do NOT, try to force yourself to read within it for pleasure as well. My sainted Oma Bergmann was fond of saying that a change is as good as a rest, and as usual, she was right. This year, I managed to maintain interest in books I was reading just for me by staying completely outside of YA as a category, and speculative fiction as a genre. I read a couple of adult novels (women’s fiction). But mostly I read nonfiction. I’ve always loved a well-crafted nonfic, and diving down rabbit holes related to whatever my passion of the moment happens to be is one of my defining traits. Right now, I’m super interested in creating an enriching and rewarding home education experience for my kids, so I read a lot of books on that topic.

Try think outside the box when attempting to find reading material that suits. Foray into nonfiction, poetry, romance, mystery novels–whatever might actually get you excited about a book when that enthusiasm has waned.

Don’t Be Afraid to DNF

For those who aren’t familiar with the term, in book circles, DNF means “Did Not Finish”. I am a huge proponent of DNFing with abandon, and have been since before my current reading slump. Unless you are required to complete a book for some reason, life is just too short to slog through something you don’t enjoy! If the first chapter or first few pages don’t seem like your cup of tea, stop, and move to the next thing. The world is full of books–somewhere out there is one you’ll like better. But pay attention to patterns–if you keep DNFing books within a specific genre or category, maybe it’s just not for you right now. Maybe you should shift gears and implement Tip #2.

Having Fun Isn’t Hard When You’ve Got a Library Card

Acquaint or reacquaint yourself with the local library. If you follow the advice laid in Tip #3, you’ll need to. All that DNFing will get expensive if you buy every last thing you read! The library is a booklover’s buffet–there’s tons to choose from, and you can pick whatever looks good for you. But unlike a buffet, it’s free and you can return whatever you don’t like. If, like me, you’re strapped for time and your attention is fragmented while at the library (I go there with the kids, and library trips are primarily structured around their needs as readers), make liberal use of the holds system. Pick out a variety of titles that you think you might enjoy, reserve them via your library’s online system or over the phone, and then simply pick them up at the front desk at your next visit. This process, more than anything else, has facilitated my return to the domain of the written word over the last year.

Hopefully if you’re in a reading slump of your own, some or all of these tips and tricks will be helpful to you. But the most important thing is to be gentle with yourself–there’s no moral virtue implicit in finishing a certain number of books a year, or even in being a reader at all. While many books contain stories of great value, books are patient–they’ll still be waiting when you’re ready for them.

From Me to You, Life, the Universe, and Everything

Touchstones and Retreat: A 2021 Retrospective and a Look Ahead

Last year at the end of December, I wrote this post, taking stock of everything that had happened since 2020 began. I had chosen inward as my word of the year for 2020, and oh boy, did I get more of an inward turn than I bargained for! I selected inward out of an instinctive need for more balance in life and more margin, as over the previous years, I’d begun to feel increasingly stretched thin. But instead of the balance I expected to get–the kids starting school fulltime, enabling me to juggle work and life more effectively–we all received something else entirely.

Lockdowns, masks, vaccines, border closures. The chaotic personal and public responses to a pandemic that found us all wrong-footed. It was not what I expected from my year of turning inward. And it was a very, very hard adjustment.

So for this past year, now in its twilight moments, I chose a different sort of word. Touchstone. A reminder to focus on the things that ground me–that serve as a reminder of the beloved prayer all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. And my touchstone year, as hoped, has turned out to be a healing one.

My greatest touchstones of 2021 weren’t the ones I expected. I’d anticipated they’d be personal in nature–moments carved out to just dwell, revisiting books and music and films that I love. I envisioned a touchstone year being mostly about me, holding onto my own comforts for dear life. And in a way, 2021 has been about touchstones I love, but not about grasping them tightly. It’s been about holding them out to others.

2020 felt like the kind of year that had the potential to break me. 2021, in every meaningful way, has been no different. And yet I’ve rested in it. The isolation and seemingly insurmountable schedule of simultaneous work and school has shaken out into something…manageable. Something where I’ve been able to find incandescent moments of joy.

I didn’t expect homeschool itself to become a touchstone, and yet it has. It shapes our days, giving them structure and excitement and zest. We’ve found a rhythm that works, a range of subjects that sing for us. Long ago, homeschool was something Tyler and I considered for the kids, but dismissed as it seemed like it wouldn’t end up being a good fit. Well, it is. In fact, it fits like a glove. Monday has become my favorite day of the week, because we can get back to our schoolroom and our work of learning about the incredible, intriguing, endlessly lovely world we inhabit. Through the rocky start of going from public schoolers on a Friday in the middle of March to homeschoolers the following Monday, we’ve done a long, slow creative work and come up with something beautiful.

We walk (a lot–outside time is essential for cheerful spirits and healthy bodies). We read. We write. We problem solve. We craft and sing and watch and explore, query and measure and investigate and plan. But most of all, we follow our joy. Learning should be an activity founded on enthusiasm and excitement, not a matter of drudgery. And I love the opportunity to ensure that’s the shape it’s taking for my children.

The second greatest touchstone of the year for me has been books. And while I thought it would be primarily books I read on my own, the touchstone stories have primarily been ones the family shared together. This year, we got into a habit of bedtime read alouds. We’ve shared The Wind in the Willows, Charlotte’s Web, Farmer Boy, A Wrinkle in Time, Misty of Chincoteague, all of Narnia and Dinotopia, Jane of Lantern Hill, Stories of the Saints, and The Jesus Storybook Bible. It has been a marvelous journey, sparking imaginations and featuring several movie nights with popcorn to enjoy film adaptations of books we finished.

So. Those are the bright spots, and they have been all the brighter for shining at a time when the global state of being is bleak.

There have been pitfalls and fraught moments as well. Though I’ve managed to strike a tentative balance between homeschool and work, work itself remains an uncertain thing. No career in the arts is a safe bet, and I count myself lucky every time I sell a book. I want to do this forever–it is, without exaggeration, my dream job, and connecting with readers makes every moment of uncertainty worthwhile. But the reality is, that anything beyond the work of crafting an excellent story lies outside my control. I cannot in any meaningful way impact sales numbers or success. All I can control is the book itself–the characters and themes that rest between the pages.

The story and only the story, I’ve realized over the course of the past year, is my publishing touchstone. It is easy for things beyond that–platform-building and trade reviews and royalty reports and Best Of lists–to feel like they matter most. They don’t (or shouldn’t). What matters is me and the words, and that at the end of every story, I get to place a book on the shelf that I’m proud of. That I know got the best of me, right now, as I am.

That is why, for 2022, I’ve chosen the word retreat to define my year. Touchstone brought joy and balance and wonder to the mothering and teaching side of my life. Retreat, I’m hoping, can restore those things to the creative and the author in me. Here is the sense I’m using it in…

Retreat

1. an act of moving back or withdrawing
2. a quiet or secluded place in which one can rest and relax
3. a period of seclusion for the purposes of prayer and meditation

Retreat is both a strategic act and a sanctuary, and I’m hoping to tap into both those facets of it throughout 2022. In honor of my upcoming year of retreat, I’ve already taken a good hard look at how I spend my creative energy and engage in online spaces. I’m pulling back from platforms that I loved but where I felt an obligation to deliver a performance in service of selling a product.

That’s not me. I write books, and you can buy them or not buy them–I prefer you do the first, but I have no interest in spending my time cajoling you into it 😉 I have a great deal of interest in growing as a creative and working on my next projects. In becoming a better and more thoughtful crafter of words.

So I’m retreating to spaces that foster deeper and more meaningful modes of communication. This blog, my email newsletter, and a printed, sent-to-your-mailbox newsletter which will start up this spring and which I’m very excited about (sign ups are here). I am hopeful that this intentional withdrawal, coupled with some deep thinking about the whys and whats of my work–why I continue to create stories, and what I want to say with them–will have the same rejuvenating process for my creative existence that focusing on touchstones did for parenting and educating.

But whatever the outcome, I’m looking forward to seeing what the journey brings.